making a difference...

I want to make a difference. There is this desire in me to help people. To help them work through problems, to listen to them, to encourage them, to share in their pain. I've had this desire for a long time. When I went to college I started out in psychology so that I could be a counselor and help people. I ended up in data quality, where I find problems in the data and make it better. I fix things, I solve the puzzle as to why and how the data is being corrupted. Don't get me wrong this can be fun and satifying, but I want to be working with people not numbers.

I have multiple ideas for working with people but none of them seem realistic or doable.

At the end of the day when I look at the big picture I want to know that what I did made a difference...

in someone's life and in God's kingdom.

Things I've forgotten

I was walking to the bus stop this afternoon dog dead tired and I saw up ahead of me a stroller. I was thinking cool I'll get to see a cute baby/kid. As I was walking up I saw that the stroller was empty and then I recalled seeing the mom grabbing a blanket from her bag while I was still some distance away. It turns out the baby was hungry. Its been quite a while since I have heard the distintive sounds of a hungry baby happy to be getting fed. It was such a beautiful sound. I heard the wonders of life in less than thirty seconds. And not only did it make me smile with joy it made the rest of the walk to the bus stop easier.

Certainly

July 31^st 2008
Elizabeth Ann Reed

Certainly she said
And why not?
It’s not as if I shouldn’t,
It’s my life
And I’m writing my own story.

And since I’m writing it
You can be sure
Things will work out as they should

And for years she writes……

Certainly God said
You’ve tried to do it on your own
You’ve given it your best shot
But the problem is
I gave you your life
And I’ve already written your story

I’m certain you’re right God…

My life—its not my own:
It belongs to you
You who have carried me
Since I was born
You guided my heart in the storm
To the place where you knew
I would see you.
And then you brought the rain to an end,
But the sun was only shining on you
It was then that I knew
It was not only my life
That belonged to you.

Here is my heart Lord
And here is my soul
My body and my mind
I give them to you.
Show me how to follow you
Because certainly Lord—
I need you.

Certainly she said;
Lord I need you.

It's been awhile

Life's been just a wee bit busy since I started my new job. I've had the normal adjusting to a new job stuff. Plus one of our cars started dying and so I spent several evenings and weekends trying to fix it. All to no avail. So I've been riding a different bus to work and consequently working slightly different hours than I originally wanted to. It all boils down to the fact that I wasn't getting home until 5:30ish which just makes my evening really short. And that doesn't give me enough time to spend with Peter or my hubby or do any sort of stuff around the house which just leads to stress and an unhappy family. Now on to the good stuff.

Zack Peter and I went on vacation starting Jun 27th. First we went to Winnemucca NV for Zack's 10 year HS class reunion and he got to show me around his hometown and we went to his old church. Then we got back on the road and headed to the ranch. I got in to drive in Elko, NV at about 4ish I think and we arrived at the ranch 5:30 am the next morning me still driving. We made 1 stop in Salt Lake City to do some shopping and stretch our legs. We spent Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday at the ranch and then on Thursday we gathered up to go to the family cabin in the mountains. We had a great time in the mountains. I had forgotted how nice it was to be there. No electricity and no cell phone service and no running water. We had a camp fire that was cleverly created by my brother so that it wasn't an open fire. Then we went on walks and climbed rocks and had a picnic the next day.

It has been quite a while since I have been to the mountains for overnight and was in good enough shape to climb rocks without much problem (this is because I walk about a mile a day round trip to and from the bus). I got to show Zack the memorial rock we have up there for my sister. In that way it was a really hard trip to the mountains. I missed Erin a lot. She was my rock climbing partner and the person I've spent the most amount of time with in the mountains. Plus she loved them so much its still hard to cope with not ever being there with her again.

We left for home/washington on Saturday morning and on the way stopped to see my 'adopted' sister, husband and their new baby. All in all is was great to be able to take both Zack and Peter with me to the ranch in the summer and have my family all in one place.

Through all of this God continues to stretch me and teach me and above all love me and cover me with His grace. And as hard as life seems to be at times I can't imagine doing it without Him.

for His glory

gainfully employed

last wednesday I found a job opening at 'The Seattle Times.' I was so excited when I read the job description because it sounded almost perfect. I had been job searching online for about a month and had found only 1 other job that was 'data qualityesque.' This was when I didn't have my resume updated yet and couldn't apply. I spent almost all day Thursday (no kidding) writing a cover letter to apply for this job. My future supervisor called me on Friday (one day later) excited about my resume and experience. I was even more excited then he to get an interview and have some be excited about my resume. I went to the job interview on Monday...thought it went ok but I wasn't super great. Applied for another job through my staffing agency on tuesday and they were interested in me also but the job was in Bellevue which is a nasty commute and my vacation plans didn't mesh with the owners vacation plans.

I had sent my future supervisor a thank you email on tuesday night. He was waiting to hear back from my references on thursday morning. On thursday morning my staffing agency called me again...and this time she had a job she would have just given me, no interview but I was waiting on The Times. Brian (my future supervisor) called me at 12:45 today saying they thought I was a good fit for the job and if I was still interested they'd like to make an offer. Hallelujah Praise God I was so excited and ran through the apartment jumping and screaming. I quickly got ready to go to Seattle. Brian told me some more stuff showed me what they could pay me...asked me if I needed to think about it...I didn't. So I said yes and then we went to see the recruiter to get info about my drug/urine test. So I left Seattle to head to Auburn to make a 'donation.'

If you've never had to take a drug test for employment you should its an experience. When you sign the paper that basically says its your pee and not anything else you have to sign on a line that say 'donor.' I'm so glad I got the chance to donate some urine?

Anyway I am very excited (although i'm too tired to jump....I think i might just fall into bed at this point) so thanks for all your prayers for my job. My start date will be Monday so long as all the paper work has time to go through. My job title is Marketing Database Data Clerk Woohoo!

5 Years and learning to surrender

Zack and I will celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary on Sunday. I've been thinking on it for awhile. Its amazing to me all that has happened in those 5 years and how quickly the time has gone by. When I got married I had a vision or what I thought was a vision for Zack and I's life. Our life certainly does not look like what I pictured. I'm glad it doesn't. If everything we planned or pictured happened exactly that way how boring life would be and how little we would learn.

Much of what I have learned can't be described, but one thing God has been constantly teaching me is what trusting Him means. Trusting God is in very few ways easy for me (as I'm sure is the case with most everyone). Some use the phrase 'trust God' as a single statement that covers everything. But lately I've been realizing that trusting God is very similar to surrendering to Him; in fact, I think if you surrender everything/every part of you to Him then you trust Him. I've surrendered myself to Him many times in many ways and have to continue to do so daily. After my sister died I had to learn to surrender the rest of my family to Him and trust that He knows best. After we had Peter I had to learn to surrender Peter and entrust Peter to God. It has just been fairly recently that I've learned how to surrender and surrender completely my marriage to Him and surrender my 'plans' for my family to God. I have to trust that God has a plan not only for my life but for Zack and I as a couple and for us as a family. And I have to trust that that plan is a good one; meaning it will bring Him glory even when I can't imagine my life at the moment being glorious to anyone let alone the Creator of the universe.

Only when I trust that God is working in my life, that He has a plan and is fulfilling that plan can I be content where I am at. I have to surrender my ideas and everything else to the One who knows all and who loves me and my family more than I can imagine.

My prayer is that as I continue to live my life that I would remember how beautiful my Lord really is and how today I stand in awe of Him for all that He is and all that He has done.

Job searching...

Not fun. Job searching is not fun at all. Repeat this twice.

Something else that's not fun: last night Peter said, "My throat hurts, its gonna pop out, its gonna pop out." I finally translated that into....I'm going to throw-up. I was holding him on my lap reading a book and got up and carried him to the bathroom book and all. We made it to the bathroom in time although I still had a huge mess to cleanup....suffice it to say whole toilet and surrounding area is now sparkling clean.