Staying out of the deep dark holes of my mind

I wrote this awhile ago; maybe a few years and never finished it. Deciding to just post it now....


It started when I was a freshman in college, my depression that is. I can only begin to describe it to you. And mostly I don't want to. Its hard to want to think about that place long enough to write about it. Its like a big deep dark hole in my mind that I get lost in and can't get out. The walls talk to you, sometimes shout and sometimes whisper, but all the while it lies. I struggled for several years with clinical depression. I I have been consciously giving myself credit for small accomplishments lately. One goal of doing this is to remind myself that I'm doing ok (as an adult/mom), that I can't do everything, that every little bit helps, one step at a time, etc. Sometimes it seems silly to celebrate getting all of the laundry folded and put away, or being excited I processed and prepared the ham and bulk ground turkey I bought for the freezer. Or like today I resisted the desire (and my daughter asking) to go to McDonalds for lunch and iced coffee and made it at home. But it in a season where I struggle with my mental health this self coaching, stream of encouragement is not just helpful but necessary.