"The Sacred Romance"

I've just started reading The Sacred Romance by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge. The first thing they talk about is the lost life of our hearts. I'm only a chapter and a half in and already I feel like its something I've needed. I have this thing in me that wants more. I'm not sure what more looks like but I want more. I have some ideas of what I think more looks like but I'm fairly certain it is a small dream coming from my small perspective and I am waiting to see what God has in store. At the same time I know I need to be content here where I am at. Its hard though.

One of the things I'm realizing is how lonely I am. And I feel like I've had these moments where I've had potential friendship in my hands and then its gone with nothing I can do about it. And all I can think is that God keeps stripping things from me in order that I might see Him more clearly. I am on this long journey, but the road I'm walking on is muddy and my feet get stuck and I have to pause and use all my energy to pull myself out. I want to run to the finish line but there is so much to slow me down. I try to think and analyze the thoughts in my head; who is that talking? Is that me or my foolish pride or the Holy Spirit or my parents. Who is that talking? And I feel like if only I could figure it out. If only I could discern God's voice from the rest. Then maybe I wouldn't be stuck in the mud or going in circles or whatever else I'm doing. At this point the road is muddy and its rough, but I have hope. I know that God will finish what He started. That so long as I keep my head and heart looking in the right direction I'll get where I'm headed. He will be my guide and I will be his child.