HOUSE

So those of you who know me know I don't really watch TV. However there is one show that I stayed up late 2 nights in a row watching. When Zack is watching CSI and I know I should be in bed about half of the time I can convince myself to go to bed. But not with HOUSE. I love House. I knew I should be in bed but not for a minute did I think about actually going to bed. House is on afterall and once I've seen the first 3 minutes I'm hooked. (unless of course I've seen the episode).

I know House is mean and rude and arrogant, but he has these moments where he is so compassionate and giving of himself. I am not sure what else draws me to him but he does. And I am a sucker for a saves the day kinda guy. And underdogs too. I think House could be considered an underdog.

Thankful

One night in the car as Peter and I were heading to small group we had a conversation about being thankful and what we were thankful for. Peter when asked what he was thankful has several times given thanks for body parts: toes, nose, foot. When adults are asked what they are thankful for I think we are conditioned to say certain things; house, job, family, etc. But sometimes we aren't thankful for those things we just know we should be. I'm thankful for coffee and for flexible hours at work so I can sleep in some mornings. I'm thankful for the rain, so that when the sun shines I think of God.

I want to be thankful more. Not thankful for things I 'should' be (although thats important) but thankful for the things that no one notices or that go unthanked. My husband leaving my lamp on when he goes to bed before me. My son wanting 1 last hug and kiss before I go out the door. I heard on the radio today that its the little things that matter--actually I think it might have been a sound that got me thinking. Check out "Chicken Fried" by Zac Brown Band.

And its true but what is also true for me is that I get so caught up in the big picture that I hardly ever enjoy the small things. They are just more details for me to remember or more things to go wrong.

And all of this, these and those....they are stealing my joy and dang it I want it back. But like most things in life I must fight for it. Fight against the worry and the stress. And I must focus on the present. I'm not sure where my dreams fit in all this because I do have dreams--big ones. But it can't be all about the dreams. Cause then I'm just a dreamer.

Isaiah 6:8
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me."

I want to be someone who is sent (and goes) not a dreamer.

I love

• The feel of clean sheets the first night you sleep in them
• When Peter is so happy he jumps up and down
• Loading the dishwasher with as much dishes as I can and using the water saver setting--sooo much better than washing them myself
• How my husband makes breakfast almost every Saturday
• Our church family
• Crisp cool sunshine on an Autumn day
• The color purple
• Clean folded laundry
• Pictures of Peter

making a difference...

I want to make a difference. There is this desire in me to help people. To help them work through problems, to listen to them, to encourage them, to share in their pain. I've had this desire for a long time. When I went to college I started out in psychology so that I could be a counselor and help people. I ended up in data quality, where I find problems in the data and make it better. I fix things, I solve the puzzle as to why and how the data is being corrupted. Don't get me wrong this can be fun and satifying, but I want to be working with people not numbers.

I have multiple ideas for working with people but none of them seem realistic or doable.

At the end of the day when I look at the big picture I want to know that what I did made a difference...

in someone's life and in God's kingdom.

Things I've forgotten

I was walking to the bus stop this afternoon dog dead tired and I saw up ahead of me a stroller. I was thinking cool I'll get to see a cute baby/kid. As I was walking up I saw that the stroller was empty and then I recalled seeing the mom grabbing a blanket from her bag while I was still some distance away. It turns out the baby was hungry. Its been quite a while since I have heard the distintive sounds of a hungry baby happy to be getting fed. It was such a beautiful sound. I heard the wonders of life in less than thirty seconds. And not only did it make me smile with joy it made the rest of the walk to the bus stop easier.

Certainly

July 31^st 2008
Elizabeth Ann Reed

Certainly she said
And why not?
It’s not as if I shouldn’t,
It’s my life
And I’m writing my own story.

And since I’m writing it
You can be sure
Things will work out as they should

And for years she writes……

Certainly God said
You’ve tried to do it on your own
You’ve given it your best shot
But the problem is
I gave you your life
And I’ve already written your story

I’m certain you’re right God…

My life—its not my own:
It belongs to you
You who have carried me
Since I was born
You guided my heart in the storm
To the place where you knew
I would see you.
And then you brought the rain to an end,
But the sun was only shining on you
It was then that I knew
It was not only my life
That belonged to you.

Here is my heart Lord
And here is my soul
My body and my mind
I give them to you.
Show me how to follow you
Because certainly Lord—
I need you.

Certainly she said;
Lord I need you.

It's been awhile

Life's been just a wee bit busy since I started my new job. I've had the normal adjusting to a new job stuff. Plus one of our cars started dying and so I spent several evenings and weekends trying to fix it. All to no avail. So I've been riding a different bus to work and consequently working slightly different hours than I originally wanted to. It all boils down to the fact that I wasn't getting home until 5:30ish which just makes my evening really short. And that doesn't give me enough time to spend with Peter or my hubby or do any sort of stuff around the house which just leads to stress and an unhappy family. Now on to the good stuff.

Zack Peter and I went on vacation starting Jun 27th. First we went to Winnemucca NV for Zack's 10 year HS class reunion and he got to show me around his hometown and we went to his old church. Then we got back on the road and headed to the ranch. I got in to drive in Elko, NV at about 4ish I think and we arrived at the ranch 5:30 am the next morning me still driving. We made 1 stop in Salt Lake City to do some shopping and stretch our legs. We spent Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday at the ranch and then on Thursday we gathered up to go to the family cabin in the mountains. We had a great time in the mountains. I had forgotted how nice it was to be there. No electricity and no cell phone service and no running water. We had a camp fire that was cleverly created by my brother so that it wasn't an open fire. Then we went on walks and climbed rocks and had a picnic the next day.

It has been quite a while since I have been to the mountains for overnight and was in good enough shape to climb rocks without much problem (this is because I walk about a mile a day round trip to and from the bus). I got to show Zack the memorial rock we have up there for my sister. In that way it was a really hard trip to the mountains. I missed Erin a lot. She was my rock climbing partner and the person I've spent the most amount of time with in the mountains. Plus she loved them so much its still hard to cope with not ever being there with her again.

We left for home/washington on Saturday morning and on the way stopped to see my 'adopted' sister, husband and their new baby. All in all is was great to be able to take both Zack and Peter with me to the ranch in the summer and have my family all in one place.

Through all of this God continues to stretch me and teach me and above all love me and cover me with His grace. And as hard as life seems to be at times I can't imagine doing it without Him.

for His glory